砂之椅子

Micheal Jackson-Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'，好一個非洲調！（老友：1:45他COSPLAY，還蠻好笑的）

『在月球的暗面，跳起了祈雨舞來。』

我突然說：「教主大人乾脆去做張概念專輯好了。」老友聽了，慢了一拍，恥笑說：「唷，你這小子，知道什麼是概念專輯嗎？還是只是覺得這個名詞很酷？教主大人做得出嗎？他又想要以什麼樣的『概念』，貫穿在一張70分鐘上下的專輯裏呢？」「哪知？」提出問題的我，反而無言了。

老友說話了：「概念一：以老式藍調音樂貫穿的硬派男人哀歌集。」「MJ他會唱純藍調？難保中途不會變成靈魂樂？」「變就變，一朝摩城人，終生『靈魂』人。」

「概念二：歌頌性愛至上的綿酥酥R＆B情歌選。」「馬文蓋？」「裡面各撥30分鐘出來玩，怎樣？」「那就沒有勵志歌曲、舞曲、和QUIET STORM、SMOOTH JAZZ嗎？煩吔！」「概念優先唄，曲式再說啦！」

「概念三：再來30分鐘的FREE JAZZ怎樣。」「教主的程度只到ACID JAZZ吧（爆）！他要打哪個樂器？誰要當他的SIDEMAN啊？（怒）」「他只能打鼓吧…（哀），教Courtney Pine去吹SAX。」「算了，這個太不悅耳了。此一大段我是不會去燒成MP3的。」

「概念四：再來三十分鐘的非洲民族融合樂如何？進入SHAMAN狀態，殺聲…喔不，鼓聲震天，打賭這段一定很爆棚，發燒級的。好啦，120分鐘，剛好一張雙專輯，（爆）」「神經病，這樣的怪異專輯，只有我們兩人會去買吧！」

「來，手拉手，兄弟倆，各買三張，共六張，請結帳，謝謝。」「被人看成肖仔囉，呵！」「這樣應該有免錢的海報可拿吧！來個十張，謝謝。」「對不起，我不認識你。」「哈哈哈哈哈…（悚慄調）」

我說：「結果，我只會拿最後的30分鐘--非洲民族融合樂「Mamma-say, mamma-saw, mamma mah-koo-sah! Sing it with me，YEAH！」來做晨間運動的背景音樂吧，很帶勁喔！一、二、一、二…」

老友瞇起眼，慢慢說：「別忘了，還有，教主『綿酥酥R＆B情歌選』，性愛至上唄--用來取代BERRY WHITE，來做「一、二、三、四」的床間運動用…（燦笑）」「…」

老友幹麼突發奇想，想到非洲打擊融合樂，其實是有跡可循的。引用一下砂山我自己3/7的舊文，可以清楚瞭解：

「…而他（老友），在打他的非洲鼓，極快的節奏，重拍的改變，別人插不進去的鬥法，複雜而規律的節奏，震動人心，不斷又不斷地重複又重複，他，間之發出呼號、低吟、話語、長嘯…，鼓聲一波一波地傳來，老友一心一意，自得其樂，已不能以言語形容，其出神狀態，誠已達『SHAMAN』的境界…

…後來的吃不下飯、手痛、快要內傷，嗯，這是他自找的。」非洲鼓是老友私人的惡趣味啦！

我說：「夠了你，我還在『海上飄』，說要請Quincy Jones大爺，來做大樂團紀念曲，您老已經『在月球的暗面，跳起了祈雨舞來』。」老友恭維道：「您也不是凡夫啊，譬喻已經到了『不知所云』的地步，去寫詩吧！」嘖嘖！好鋒利啊，今天的老友。

砂山之不負責獨斷解析：『在月球的暗面，跳起了祈雨舞來』之意

●月亮＝MJ教主大人，引自南非團體『Ladysmith Black Mambazo』，為MJ電影量身定做的『THE MOON IS DANCING』（老友：聽說MJ他在錄影現場，聽到感動到流下男兒淚。）

●暗面＝人的潛意識（誰的？）

●『月球的暗面』＝『Dark Side of the Moon』＝Pink Floyd的概念專輯，跟今天討論的主題相關。

●跳舞＝在月亮上跳舞，影射MOONWALK，中譯：月球漫步，教主的第一強項，放大絕啦，向其致敬（老友：「大家一起跳！YA！」）。

●祈雨舞＝老友喜歡的非洲元素，又祈求上天賜福，以達成其微小的心願…

整句話意謂著：「老友心理暗暗希望，『麥可傑克森』此君去尋找自己的出身的根源，加入非洲元素於其音樂之中，若真如此，對老友來說，真是莫大的福份。」解析完。

老友看完，不甘心地說：「你這樣是事後加工吧！」「當時我可想都沒想就寫了呢！呵！」「說你兩句，就開始得意起來啦！器量大一點好不？不動聲色，才是真神人也。」「唉，何必，我寧可當真人。」

老友又專心看了幾遍：「算了，我服了你，你應該繼續去攻讀文科的。」「攻成神經病是真的，嘖。」「別生氣嘛，歡喜就好。」「你陳雷啊！」「呵。希望大家都『歡喜就好』，不要顧慮到他人的眼光，自自在在，光明磊落地，按著自己的步調，過著自己的日子…這樣會有多好呢？」

「Thank you, man. Good ending!」「Thank you, my friend.」


Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' BY Michael Jackson

[Chorus]
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)

[1st Verse]
I Took My Baby To The Doctor
With A Fever, But Nothing He Found
By The Time This Hit The Street
They Said She Had A Breakdown
Someone's Always Tryin' To Start My Baby Cryin'
Talkin', Squealin', Lyin'
Sayin' You Just Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

[Chorus]
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)

[2nd Verse]
You Love To Pretend That You're Good
When You're Always Up To No Good
You Really Can't Make Him Hate Her
So Your Tongue Became A Razor
Someone's Always Tryin' To Keep My Baby Cryin'
Treacherous, Cunnin', Declinin'
You Got My Baby Cryin'

[Chorus]
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable
Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable
You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable
They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable

[3rd Verse]
Billie Jean Is Always Talkin'
When Nobody Else Is Talkin'
Tellin' Lies And Rubbin' Shoulders
So They Called Her Mouth A Motor
Someone's Always Tryin' To Start My Baby Cryin'
Talkin', Squealin', Spyin'
Sayin' You Just Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

[Chorus]
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable
Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable
You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable
They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable

[Ad-Lib]
If You Cant Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
Then Don't Have A Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
And Don't Think Maybe (Yeah, Yeah)
If You Can't Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
You'll Be Always Tryin'
To Stop That Child From Cryin'
Hustlin', Stealin', Lyin'
Now Baby's Slowly Dyin'

[Chorus]
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)

[Ad-Lib]
Lift Your Head Up High
And Scream Out To The World
I Know I Am Someone
And Let The Truth Unfurl
No One Can Hurt You Now
Because You Know What's True
Yes, I Believe In Me
So You Believe In You
Help Me Sing It, Ma Ma Se,
Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa
Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa,
Ma Ma Coo Sa
[Repeat/Fade-Out]